Ben Thompson
Although tuning in to one of her bazillion shows poses the same risk as opening the Lost Ark, I decided to test my luck and watch a few episodes for the sole purpose of proving her lack of contribution to the cooking community. With this said, I have created a list of the top five reasons why I hate Rachael Ray.
She Has To Carry Everything In One Trip
By everything, I mean everything. She runs around the kitchen and grabs as many ingredients as she can fit in her arms, plus more. If she is fortunate to have a pan out, she just stacks everything on top. You may think to yourself, ‘Hey that seems like a good idea’ or ‘That is sure to save her some time during her 30-minute meal.’ However I believe this is just a ploy in making her appear more appealing, when in reality it just makes her look like she raided a K-mart. Her kitchen is the size of a dorm room in Markley; not that hard to take several trips.
Stupid Kitchen Lingo (EVOO and GB)
Unless you watch her shows, I’m pretty certain that you have no idea what EVOO stands for. For the curious reader, it stands for Extra Virgin Olive Oil. And GB? Garbage bowl...she had to abbreviate garbage bowl. Once again Rachael went above and beyond and created a new language to use in the kitchen. The only problem is that she is the only person fluent in it. Is it too much of a mouthful or is she just incapable of remembering ingredient names?
Meals Take Longer Than 30 Minutes
Have you ever tried to recreate one of her dishes from her show “30-Minute Meals?” I have and must say that it does not work like it does on the TV. The reason why she is able to finish her meals so fast is because she cuts corners. On her show, she has ingredients prepared ahead of time in order to speed up her cooking process. Also for those who actually pay attention, half of the time her food isn’t even cooked properly. Take for example Rachael Ray’s Super Bowl party special. She attempts to make chicken and chorizo chili in a polenta bowl. Sounds like a lot for 30 minutes. After tackling the chili, she tries to finish the polenta bowl in the last minutes of the episode, but fails miserably. You can even see it in her facial expression when she takes a bite out of the dish. Her mouth says ‘Mmm this is delicious’, but her eyes scream for mercy.
Annoying Personality
Besides the shows, Rachael Ray herself is an annoying specimen. She acts like a giddy high school cheerleader but sounds like a thirteen-year-old boy going through puberty. Watching her shows is honestly like watching a kid cook. She laughs at her own dumb jokes (“... pizzagna ... pizza and lasagna, why notta ...”), giggles to herself, and puts everything into the form of a question. And to top it all off, she is not even considered a chef among her peers. She uses ingredients from boxes/cans and has little knowledge of cooking techniques that differ from your everyday family chef.
She Is A Sellout
Rachael Ray can be found everywhere and on everything. She has several television shows including her own talk show, many cookbooks, her own product line (for both human and dog needs), and has even starred in several Dunkin’ Donut commercials. She sells her own soul just to put her face up on another billboard. It is hard to avoid her. Rachael Ray is like a virus; slowly spreading in hopes to one day take over the planet, or in this case, the food industry.
Overall she is just a television personality lacking in talent whose career only exists because of her blitzkrieg style of advertising. Fortunately there are plenty of other entertaining, talented chefs to watch on the Food Network. Take Guy Fieri for example... oh wait...
No comments:
Post a Comment